How to give a cat a pill
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:
1) Wrap it in bacon.
PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS
A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer’s personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
If Women Drink these drinks in a pub ... (not at home)
Beer
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Mixed drinks - no umbrellas e.g.; Gin and tonic / Scotch and soda
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink.
Water
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don’t.
Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
Bacardi Breezer, Red Square , Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, Mudshake etc.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in.
Spirits such as Wild Turkey, Southern Comfort
Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!
Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually – you’re in!
Cape Velvet
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait......
.
Spirits such as JACKS, BEAM
Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard
Approach: Keep buying them drinks, they’ll think you’re a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work out how to get you to bed!
IF MEN DRINK in a PUB.. (As always, very simple and clear cut.)
Cider
He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
Cheap Domestic Beer
He’s poor / student and wants to get laid.
Real Ale Beer
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer
He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Guinness
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
Water
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid
Wine
He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
Vodka or Brandy
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.
Port
Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.
Whisky/Jack Daniels
He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Jim Beam
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.
Rum or Tequila
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
Bacardi Breezer, Red Square , Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, etc
He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change
The results:
If Women Drink these drinks in a pub ... (not at home)
Beer
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Mixed drinks - no umbrellas e.g.; Gin and tonic / Scotch and soda
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink.
Water
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don’t.
Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
Bacardi Breezer, Red Square , Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, Mudshake etc.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in.
Spirits such as Wild Turkey, Southern Comfort
Personality: Watch out, they are unique! A real mixture of personalities. Love to be laid!
Approach: Talk dirty to them whilst challenging them intellectually – you’re in!
Cape Velvet
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait......
.
Spirits such as JACKS, BEAM
Personality: Enjoys male company more than females, loves to party hard
Approach: Keep buying them drinks, they’ll think you’re a nice bloke and they are probably trying to work out how to get you to bed!
IF MEN DRINK in a PUB.. (As always, very simple and clear cut.)
Cider
He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
Cheap Domestic Beer
He’s poor / student and wants to get laid.
Real Ale Beer
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer
He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Guinness
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
Water
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid
Wine
He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
Vodka or Brandy
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.
Port
Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.
Whisky/Jack Daniels
He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Jim Beam
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.
Rum or Tequila
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
Bacardi Breezer, Red Square , Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, etc
He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change
Minimale
Interviu CNBC cu Warren Buffett, al doilea dintre cei mai bogati din lume,care a donat 31 milioane $ pt caritate.
Cateva aspecte f intereante ale vietii lui:
1.- A cumparat prima actiune la 11 ani si regreta ca a inceput prea tarziu!
2.- A cumparat o mica ferma la 14 ani cu economiile din vanzari de ziare.
3.- Si astazi mai locuieste in mica lui casa in Omaha ,cu 3 camere,pe care a cumparat=o dupa ce s-a casatorit, acum 50 de ani. Él spune ca in acea casa are totul.In casa sa nu are nici un tablou sau decoratiuni interioare, statui..
4.- Isi conduce singur masina , nu are sofer si nu are bodyguard.
5.- Niciodata nu a calatorit in avion particular,chiar fiind proprietarul celei mai mari companii de avioane private din lume.
6.-Compania lui, Berkshire Hathaway, are in subordonare inca 63 de firme. Odata pe an, el trimite scrisori directorilor firmelor sale, cu targeturile pt noul an.Niciodata nu convoca reuniuni sau da telefoane zilnice directorilor.
Directorilor lui le-a impus urmatoarele 2 reguli:
Regula 1 :nu pierdeti niciiodata investitile actionarilor.
Regula 2: Nu uitati regula 1.
7.- Él nu socializeaza cu lumea in inalta societate. Isi petrece timpul liber cu o farfurie de popcorn la TV.
8.- Bill Gates, cel mai bogat din lume, l-a cunoscut recent, acum 5 ani.Bill Gates credea ca nu are nimic in comun cu Warren Buffett. Pentru asta, a stabilit o intalnire cu el,programata sa dureze o jumatate de ora .Dar cand l-a cunoscut , intalnirea a durat 10 ore si Bill Gates s-a transformat intr-un fan al lui Warren Buffet.
9.- Warren Buffet nu are telefon mobil si nici laptop pe birou.
10.- Sfatul lui pt tineri: Indepartati-va de cartile de credit si investiti in voi.
AMINTITI-VA:
A. Nu banul face pe om, ci omul face banul.
B. Viata este atat de simpla pe cat v-o faceti voi.
C. Nu faceti ce spun altii, ascultati-i, dar faceti cum simtiti.
D. Nu va imbracati doar cu haine de firma, ci cu cele in care va simtiti confortabil.
E. Nu cheltuiti banii pe lucruri care nu sunt necesare, ci doar pe cele cu adevarat necesare.
F. Pana la urma, viata voastra e a voastra. De ce sa le dati altora sansa sa v-o conduca?
G. Daca banii nu ajuta ca sa-i imparti cu ceilalti, atunci pt ce mai sunt buni?AJUTATI CHIAR DACA NU PUTETI, MEREU CEI CARE STIU SA IMPARTA VOR FI BINECUVANTATI.
H. NU cheltuiti banii pe care nu ii aveti.Cartile de credit, imprumuturile, etc au fost inventate de societatea de consum.
I. Inainte de a cumpara ceva,ganditi-va: Ce mi se intampla daca nu cumpar asta? Daca raspunsul este "nimic", atunci nu cumparati, pt ca inseamna ca nu aveti nevoie.
"Nimic nu am adus pe lume, nimic nu vom lua cand plecam.."
Cateva aspecte f intereante ale vietii lui:
1.- A cumparat prima actiune la 11 ani si regreta ca a inceput prea tarziu!
2.- A cumparat o mica ferma la 14 ani cu economiile din vanzari de ziare.
3.- Si astazi mai locuieste in mica lui casa in Omaha ,cu 3 camere,pe care a cumparat=o dupa ce s-a casatorit, acum 50 de ani. Él spune ca in acea casa are totul.In casa sa nu are nici un tablou sau decoratiuni interioare, statui..
4.- Isi conduce singur masina , nu are sofer si nu are bodyguard.
5.- Niciodata nu a calatorit in avion particular,chiar fiind proprietarul celei mai mari companii de avioane private din lume.
6.-Compania lui, Berkshire Hathaway, are in subordonare inca 63 de firme. Odata pe an, el trimite scrisori directorilor firmelor sale, cu targeturile pt noul an.Niciodata nu convoca reuniuni sau da telefoane zilnice directorilor.
Directorilor lui le-a impus urmatoarele 2 reguli:
Regula 1 :nu pierdeti niciiodata investitile actionarilor.
Regula 2: Nu uitati regula 1.
7.- Él nu socializeaza cu lumea in inalta societate. Isi petrece timpul liber cu o farfurie de popcorn la TV.
8.- Bill Gates, cel mai bogat din lume, l-a cunoscut recent, acum 5 ani.Bill Gates credea ca nu are nimic in comun cu Warren Buffett. Pentru asta, a stabilit o intalnire cu el,programata sa dureze o jumatate de ora .Dar cand l-a cunoscut , intalnirea a durat 10 ore si Bill Gates s-a transformat intr-un fan al lui Warren Buffet.
9.- Warren Buffet nu are telefon mobil si nici laptop pe birou.
10.- Sfatul lui pt tineri: Indepartati-va de cartile de credit si investiti in voi.
AMINTITI-VA:
A. Nu banul face pe om, ci omul face banul.
B. Viata este atat de simpla pe cat v-o faceti voi.
C. Nu faceti ce spun altii, ascultati-i, dar faceti cum simtiti.
D. Nu va imbracati doar cu haine de firma, ci cu cele in care va simtiti confortabil.
E. Nu cheltuiti banii pe lucruri care nu sunt necesare, ci doar pe cele cu adevarat necesare.
F. Pana la urma, viata voastra e a voastra. De ce sa le dati altora sansa sa v-o conduca?
G. Daca banii nu ajuta ca sa-i imparti cu ceilalti, atunci pt ce mai sunt buni?AJUTATI CHIAR DACA NU PUTETI, MEREU CEI CARE STIU SA IMPARTA VOR FI BINECUVANTATI.
H. NU cheltuiti banii pe care nu ii aveti.Cartile de credit, imprumuturile, etc au fost inventate de societatea de consum.
I. Inainte de a cumpara ceva,ganditi-va: Ce mi se intampla daca nu cumpar asta? Daca raspunsul este "nimic", atunci nu cumparati, pt ca inseamna ca nu aveti nevoie.
"Nimic nu am adus pe lume, nimic nu vom lua cand plecam.."
Invidia - Dan Puric
Intr-o zi, vecinul nostru de bloc si-a luat un aparat de aer conditionat. Era un zaduf ingrozitor, dar noi n-aveam aparat de aer conditionat si nici bani ca sa ne cumparam unul. Sufeream de caldura si de invidie. Aveam insa o biblioteca. Ne-am uitat in ea si am scos cugetarile lui Seneca. Am citit de acolo o pagina-doua despre bine si sensul vietii si, desi cald tot ne era, nu l-am mai invidiat pe vecin.
Ceva mai tarziu, vecinul si-a deschis un butic si a inceput sa umble imbracat la costum la patru ace. Noi - tot cu blugi.
Nu-i nimic - ne-am zis linistiti, citind un capitol din Etica lui Spinoza. Apoi vecinul a aparut deodata intr-un Megane argintiu. Noi n-aveam nici bicicleta, dar l-am dispretuit citind din Phaidon al lui Platon. Mai tarziu, vecinul a schimbat Meganul pe Mertan. Nu ne-a pasat, caci si noi il schimbaseram deja pe Platon cu Aristotel. Si-a luat si un 4x4, cel mai mare de pe strada. Noi l-am luat pe Marcus Aurelius, care ne-a facut sa zambim impacati.
A mai trecut o vreme si vecinul si-a luat nevasta noua: blonda, frumoasa, tanara. Noi - tot cu cea veche, dar am luat Evanghelia dupa Ioan. Vecinul si-a imbracat soata cu o garderoba intreaga si cu
blanuri, basca bijuteriile. Noi ne-am imbracat spiritul citind din Eclesiast. In fine, vecinul s-a mutat intr-o vila la sosea cu gard mare, bodigarzi si piscina. Am rezistat si de data aceasta eroic, citind Richard III. A urmat o a doua vila - la munte. Dupa ce am vazut-o, ne-am consolat cu Macbeth. O a treia - la mare: am recurs la Invierea lui Tolstoi, al carei efect l-am consolidat cu Ghilgames, Ghandi si Declaratia de iubire a lui Liiceanu. Ne-am simtit cu mult mai bine.
L-au dat la televizor la o emisiune foarte populara. Ne-am stapanit emotia cu o portie de Caragiale. L-au dat a doua oara cu mare succes: am fi suferit daca nu ne-ar fi ajutat Ananda Coomaraswamy,
Cartea lui Iov si Cazul Wagner al lui Nietzsche.
Asa a trecut ceva mai mult timp... Vecinul isi lua case, masini, iahturi, femei. Noi raspundeam cu Balzac, Thomas Mann, Hegel,Berdiaev. Lupta era stransa, dar echilibrata. In sfarsit, intr-o zi l-au aratat cu catuse la maini, umflat de PNA. Am rasfoit atunci fericiti Apocalipsa. Dar peste vreo doua saptamani, vecinul nostru era eliberat si chiar si-a anuntat candidatura pe listele unui partid majoritar.
Scarbiti, ne-am uitat in biblioteca. N-am mai vazut nimic. Ne-am uitat pentru a doua oara. Nu ne-a venit sa credem. Pentru a treia oara ne-am uitat cu atentie. Acelasi rezultat: citiseram toate cartile.
Si atunci ne-a cuprins invidia...
Popor roman, nu te-ai saturat sa stai pe locul mortului si sa fii condus de toti tampitii?
Dan Puric
Ceva mai tarziu, vecinul si-a deschis un butic si a inceput sa umble imbracat la costum la patru ace. Noi - tot cu blugi.
Nu-i nimic - ne-am zis linistiti, citind un capitol din Etica lui Spinoza. Apoi vecinul a aparut deodata intr-un Megane argintiu. Noi n-aveam nici bicicleta, dar l-am dispretuit citind din Phaidon al lui Platon. Mai tarziu, vecinul a schimbat Meganul pe Mertan. Nu ne-a pasat, caci si noi il schimbaseram deja pe Platon cu Aristotel. Si-a luat si un 4x4, cel mai mare de pe strada. Noi l-am luat pe Marcus Aurelius, care ne-a facut sa zambim impacati.
A mai trecut o vreme si vecinul si-a luat nevasta noua: blonda, frumoasa, tanara. Noi - tot cu cea veche, dar am luat Evanghelia dupa Ioan. Vecinul si-a imbracat soata cu o garderoba intreaga si cu
blanuri, basca bijuteriile. Noi ne-am imbracat spiritul citind din Eclesiast. In fine, vecinul s-a mutat intr-o vila la sosea cu gard mare, bodigarzi si piscina. Am rezistat si de data aceasta eroic, citind Richard III. A urmat o a doua vila - la munte. Dupa ce am vazut-o, ne-am consolat cu Macbeth. O a treia - la mare: am recurs la Invierea lui Tolstoi, al carei efect l-am consolidat cu Ghilgames, Ghandi si Declaratia de iubire a lui Liiceanu. Ne-am simtit cu mult mai bine.
L-au dat la televizor la o emisiune foarte populara. Ne-am stapanit emotia cu o portie de Caragiale. L-au dat a doua oara cu mare succes: am fi suferit daca nu ne-ar fi ajutat Ananda Coomaraswamy,
Cartea lui Iov si Cazul Wagner al lui Nietzsche.
Asa a trecut ceva mai mult timp... Vecinul isi lua case, masini, iahturi, femei. Noi raspundeam cu Balzac, Thomas Mann, Hegel,Berdiaev. Lupta era stransa, dar echilibrata. In sfarsit, intr-o zi l-au aratat cu catuse la maini, umflat de PNA. Am rasfoit atunci fericiti Apocalipsa. Dar peste vreo doua saptamani, vecinul nostru era eliberat si chiar si-a anuntat candidatura pe listele unui partid majoritar.
Scarbiti, ne-am uitat in biblioteca. N-am mai vazut nimic. Ne-am uitat pentru a doua oara. Nu ne-a venit sa credem. Pentru a treia oara ne-am uitat cu atentie. Acelasi rezultat: citiseram toate cartile.
Si atunci ne-a cuprins invidia...
Popor roman, nu te-ai saturat sa stai pe locul mortului si sa fii condus de toti tampitii?
Dan Puric
girls' best friend :-s va regasiti?
Pt ca imi vorbeste urat,...cand vorbesc cu el se face ca nu ma aude, mi-a promis sambata ca ma duce la examensi a plecat in alta parte dar mi-a zis sa il astept ca vine ,l-am tot sunat , zicea ca vine acum..bla, bla, ideea e ca am pierdut examenul si mia zis ca " i se rupe". Ma scoate din pepeni, pt eu chiar nu sunt genul care sa accept asa ceva.
Ce am de gand sa fac...uite printre altele i-am zis asta... "As vrea sa te fac ca pe albia de porci, sa iti spun ca esti un tampit si ca habar nu ai sa pretuiesti ce ai, ca te porti ca un retardat, ca esti cel mai nesimtit si mai lipsit de educatie si de maniere om pe care l-am vazut vreodata(in afara de ciprian) si sa iti spun ca eu sunt o romantica, ca nu am de gand sa stau toata viata sa ascult cum ma faci tu toanta si cum ma faci sa ma simt ultima proasta, si cum te vaiti ca tu ai 2 joburi, sa-ti vad indiferenta. O sa imi gasesc pe cineva care vrea sa ma vada, vrea sa ma asculte,vrea sa fie in compania mea, care stie sa fie un domn, cineva care sa fie ce am crezut ca esti tu cand l-am lasat pe Leo pt tine!!!!!!!! Da-ti demisia de la .., devino iar alcoolic, intoarce-te la fostele tale gagici, scarpina-te toata ziua la oua daca asa esti multumit de viata ta!!!! Nu-mi pasa! Fa ce vrei!
Ti-as spune asta daca as sti ca te face sa realizezi in ce hal ai ajuns, dar stiu ca nu te face decat sa te simti jignit si nu asta vreau. Asa ca n-am sa ti-o zic... o las scrisa, pentru ca asa nu are nici o valoare."
-----Original Message-----
From: AL
Sent: Wednesday, February 04, 2009 11:34 AM
To: AD
Subject: RE:
De ce v-ati certat?
Si ce vrei sa faci?
Ce am de gand sa fac...uite printre altele i-am zis asta... "As vrea sa te fac ca pe albia de porci, sa iti spun ca esti un tampit si ca habar nu ai sa pretuiesti ce ai, ca te porti ca un retardat, ca esti cel mai nesimtit si mai lipsit de educatie si de maniere om pe care l-am vazut vreodata(in afara de ciprian) si sa iti spun ca eu sunt o romantica, ca nu am de gand sa stau toata viata sa ascult cum ma faci tu toanta si cum ma faci sa ma simt ultima proasta, si cum te vaiti ca tu ai 2 joburi, sa-ti vad indiferenta. O sa imi gasesc pe cineva care vrea sa ma vada, vrea sa ma asculte,vrea sa fie in compania mea, care stie sa fie un domn, cineva care sa fie ce am crezut ca esti tu cand l-am lasat pe Leo pt tine!!!!!!!! Da-ti demisia de la .., devino iar alcoolic, intoarce-te la fostele tale gagici, scarpina-te toata ziua la oua daca asa esti multumit de viata ta!!!! Nu-mi pasa! Fa ce vrei!
Ti-as spune asta daca as sti ca te face sa realizezi in ce hal ai ajuns, dar stiu ca nu te face decat sa te simti jignit si nu asta vreau. Asa ca n-am sa ti-o zic... o las scrisa, pentru ca asa nu are nici o valoare."
-----Original Message-----
From: AL
Sent: Wednesday, February 04, 2009 11:34 AM
To: AD
Subject: RE:
De ce v-ati certat?
Si ce vrei sa faci?
back to the board!
M-am decis sa impart cu voi una din noile mele pasiuni din curentul ce poate fi numit cunoaste-te, accepta-te si treci la fapte, si anume hranirea nelinistitului spirit ludic si nestavilitei competitivitati :P prin altfel de jocuri decat cele digitale: jocuri de societate/tabla/carti. Ca avantaje as numi asa: sunt 3D din start :), au un feeling mult mai deosebit, un miros ce poate aminti de primul joc de nu te supara frate! , permit contact direct cu alti jucatori de orice sex blabla etc
Optiunile anti plictiseala variaza de la cartile clasice, sah, table, yacht, risk, monopoly, capital, lider, pana la avansatele Caylus-ul(luck free!) cumparat de curand pt Vio si Shogun-ul de azi! pe lista de shopping si recomandari ar mai fi Hammer of the scots(pt fanii Braveheart) si Twilight conflict...
cateva sit-uri din RO cu astfel de jocuri(reclama gratis): www.cutia.ro www.boardgames.ro www.redgoblin.ro www.playboard.ro
si cel mai important sit/enciclopedie al jocurilor de societate: http://www.gameboardgeek.com/
Omul cat traieste se joaca! :)
daca e marti, e brainbench!
PERSONALITY EVALUATION:
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Trait |<--|---|---|---- Range ----|---|---|--->| Trait
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Introverted |..................X.....................| Extraverted
Candid |......................................X.| Considerate
Impulsive |..X.....................................| Cautious
Excitable |..............X.........................| Relaxed
Practical |..............X.........................| Imaginative
Concrete |......................X.................| Abstract
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|<--|---|---|---- Range ----|---|---|--->|
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your Social Boldness: Introverted VS Extraverted
------------------------------------------------------------
You are slightly introverted. Do you ever say to people,
"I'm really an introvert" and then they look at you funny?
That's because you can be both Extraverted and introverted,
but in social situations people see you as an Extravert.
Your enthusiastic and self-confident personality, plus your
ease at talking to strangers gives the appearance that you
are outgoing, even though you may attribute it to just
being a friendly person. You find yourself at the center of
attention, even though you may not actively seek that
position. You are such a warm person that people like to
follow you. Which is good, since you have no problem
accepting your role as a leader when it is given to you.
With your ability to flow easily from shy to outgoing, you
may tend to easily flow from exciting adventures to
relaxing times at home. This makes you a fun person to be
around, because you do not always have to be on the go, yet
you know there is more to life than reading and watching TV.
Your Agreeableness: Candid VS Considerate
------------------------------------------------------------
You are very considerate. You are a popular person, aren't
you? Of course you are. You truly value harmony in dealing
with others. People recognize your friendly, generous, and
helpful personality. Your easy-going, agreeable nature
makes you such a joy to be around. This is especially true
in meetings or general conversations. The topic may become
heated, but you are considerate of other's feelings and you
will find a happy medium in order to placate those around
you. This is because you have an optimistic view of human
nature and you realize that if you trust people with their
decisions that they are not trying to hurt you or take
advantage of you. This special and rare quality is also
seen in your altruism. You enjoy helping others. To you it
is not a sacrifice; to you it is fulfilling to help others
in need.
Your Self-Control: Impulsive VS Cautious
------------------------------------------------------------
You are very impulsive. You are an independent thinker. You
do not need a book of rules to tell you how to behave - you
know inside what is right and what is wrong and you act
accordingly. You are able to live life spontaneously,
because you are able to make decisions without endless
deliberation. In fact, when you and another person are
making a decision, you are able to reach a solution fairly
quickly while the other person has to cautiously plan every
step. Eventually, they will agree with you, which is
frustrating when your first impulse is usually the correct
one in the decision-making process. You tend to be a little
more casual, and you do not feel out of sorts when your
home or office is not perfectly neat. In general, your life
is pleasurable - you know how to have fun and will never be
accused of being staid or stuffy.
Your Anxiety Level: Excitable VS Relaxed
------------------------------------------------------------
You are moderately excitable. In trying situations, you
feel somewhat stressed and frustrated. At times you are
able to overcome these feelings, but other times you feel
overwhelmed. This could run the gamut of just being in a
bad mood to experiencing anxiety, anger, or depression. In
general, you prefer a stress-free existence, so that the
possibility of negative emotions would not be a factor. You
tend to be somewhat self-conscious in social situations,
and are worried that people may judge or criticize you. You
may react emotionally to people or circumstances that you
find threatening, because you want to protect yourself.
Every so often you cave into urges or cravings. Sometimes
you feel a little guilty about it, other times you are just
fine with your fun streak.
Your Openness to Change: Practical VS Imaginative
------------------------------------------------------------
You are moderately practical. You tend to be more
comfortable when your daily activities are familiar and
unchanging, rather than constantly in a state of flux. You
prefer to deal with facts and not ideas. You prefer to be
more practical and pragmatic, but you are able to be
creative when the situation calls for it. You prefer the
conversation or situation to be more straightforward.
Emotionally, you are more conservative and tend not to
express your feelings openly. You have a proper demeanor,
which summons respect from those around you.
The way you Think/Reason: Concrete VS Abstract
------------------------------------------------------------
You are slightly abstract in your thinking. Your thinking
is neither simple nor complex, to others you appear to be a
well-educated person but not an intellectual. You tend to
be intellectually curious and have the uncanny abilities to
distinguish imaginative, creative people from
down-to-earth, conventional people.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trait |<--|---|---|---- Range ----|---|---|--->| Trait
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Introverted |..................X.....................| Extraverted
Candid |......................................X.| Considerate
Impulsive |..X.....................................| Cautious
Excitable |..............X.........................| Relaxed
Practical |..............X.........................| Imaginative
Concrete |......................X.................| Abstract
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|<--|---|---|---- Range ----|---|---|--->|
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your Social Boldness: Introverted VS Extraverted
------------------------------------------------------------
You are slightly introverted. Do you ever say to people,
"I'm really an introvert" and then they look at you funny?
That's because you can be both Extraverted and introverted,
but in social situations people see you as an Extravert.
Your enthusiastic and self-confident personality, plus your
ease at talking to strangers gives the appearance that you
are outgoing, even though you may attribute it to just
being a friendly person. You find yourself at the center of
attention, even though you may not actively seek that
position. You are such a warm person that people like to
follow you. Which is good, since you have no problem
accepting your role as a leader when it is given to you.
With your ability to flow easily from shy to outgoing, you
may tend to easily flow from exciting adventures to
relaxing times at home. This makes you a fun person to be
around, because you do not always have to be on the go, yet
you know there is more to life than reading and watching TV.
Your Agreeableness: Candid VS Considerate
------------------------------------------------------------
You are very considerate. You are a popular person, aren't
you? Of course you are. You truly value harmony in dealing
with others. People recognize your friendly, generous, and
helpful personality. Your easy-going, agreeable nature
makes you such a joy to be around. This is especially true
in meetings or general conversations. The topic may become
heated, but you are considerate of other's feelings and you
will find a happy medium in order to placate those around
you. This is because you have an optimistic view of human
nature and you realize that if you trust people with their
decisions that they are not trying to hurt you or take
advantage of you. This special and rare quality is also
seen in your altruism. You enjoy helping others. To you it
is not a sacrifice; to you it is fulfilling to help others
in need.
Your Self-Control: Impulsive VS Cautious
------------------------------------------------------------
You are very impulsive. You are an independent thinker. You
do not need a book of rules to tell you how to behave - you
know inside what is right and what is wrong and you act
accordingly. You are able to live life spontaneously,
because you are able to make decisions without endless
deliberation. In fact, when you and another person are
making a decision, you are able to reach a solution fairly
quickly while the other person has to cautiously plan every
step. Eventually, they will agree with you, which is
frustrating when your first impulse is usually the correct
one in the decision-making process. You tend to be a little
more casual, and you do not feel out of sorts when your
home or office is not perfectly neat. In general, your life
is pleasurable - you know how to have fun and will never be
accused of being staid or stuffy.
Your Anxiety Level: Excitable VS Relaxed
------------------------------------------------------------
You are moderately excitable. In trying situations, you
feel somewhat stressed and frustrated. At times you are
able to overcome these feelings, but other times you feel
overwhelmed. This could run the gamut of just being in a
bad mood to experiencing anxiety, anger, or depression. In
general, you prefer a stress-free existence, so that the
possibility of negative emotions would not be a factor. You
tend to be somewhat self-conscious in social situations,
and are worried that people may judge or criticize you. You
may react emotionally to people or circumstances that you
find threatening, because you want to protect yourself.
Every so often you cave into urges or cravings. Sometimes
you feel a little guilty about it, other times you are just
fine with your fun streak.
Your Openness to Change: Practical VS Imaginative
------------------------------------------------------------
You are moderately practical. You tend to be more
comfortable when your daily activities are familiar and
unchanging, rather than constantly in a state of flux. You
prefer to deal with facts and not ideas. You prefer to be
more practical and pragmatic, but you are able to be
creative when the situation calls for it. You prefer the
conversation or situation to be more straightforward.
Emotionally, you are more conservative and tend not to
express your feelings openly. You have a proper demeanor,
which summons respect from those around you.
The way you Think/Reason: Concrete VS Abstract
------------------------------------------------------------
You are slightly abstract in your thinking. Your thinking
is neither simple nor complex, to others you appear to be a
well-educated person but not an intellectual. You tend to
be intellectually curious and have the uncanny abilities to
distinguish imaginative, creative people from
down-to-earth, conventional people.
Gaze
primesc prea multe funnies-uri pe zi. prietenii zic ca am prea mult timp liber :) impart cu cine pot, sa mai urc si aici? sa incerc cu asta: Sf Putin. Se poate incepe o adevarata discutie politico-sociala de la o poza. As putea sa fac un blog cu o poza reprezentativa pt una din realitatile mele/pe zi..ar fi interesant?
PS: acesta a fost un monolog! :P voi continua cu alegeri(choices) personale
Jurnalul unui observator
1. Oamenilor nu le place sa le spui ce si cum sa faca.
2. Fiintele umane sunt susceptibile repetitivitatii
2. Fiintele umane sunt susceptibile repetitivitatii
it / networking staff ...:)) bancul lunii!!
1. O celula umana contine 75 MB informatie genetica.
2. Un spermatozoid 37,5 MB.
3. Intr-un mililitru sunt 100 milioane de spermatozoizi. In medie, eliberam - la o singura ejaculare - 2,25 ml in 5 secunde.
Deci - logic - latimea de banda a pu*ii: (37.5MB x 100M x 2,25)/5 = (37.500.000 x 100.000.000 x 2.25)/5 = 1 687 500 000 000 000 = 1687,5 TeraBytes/s.
De asemenea, este cel mai ineficient mod de a folosi un mediu de comunicatie. Faci broadcast cu 1687,5 TB/s cu acelasi set de informatie (redundanta uriasa) cu speranta ca poate 37,5 MB din ei vor ajunge la destinatie. In plus, are si o latenta uriasa, primesti ACK-ul cam in 2 luni, si raspunsul la cererea ta se compune in 9 luni.
Si de cele mai multe ori e doar spam!
Acum vine intrebarea... de ce zice lumea ca "imi merge netul ca o p**"
la masculin
Nu eu am scris ce e mai jos, dar parca suna ca si ceva auzit prin capul meu si e prea tare sa nu fie (re)publicat :))
*desigur, nu luati iarasi prea in serios sau ca si o declaratie de intentie completa :)
Sugestii de imbunatatire barbati:
1. La barbati totul tine de atitudine. Mai ai un smoc de par, poarta-l cu mandrie. Chiar daca e deasupra urechii stangi. E smocul tau, restul parului a cazut din cauza unei functionari intense a creierului. Care a supraincalzit calota craniana si a dus la arderea radacinilor. Deci e semn de mare desteptaciune, vultur plesuv ce esti tu.
2. Ai burta, nicio problema. Semn evident de prosperitate. Muritorii de foame nu au burta. Nu au cum sa o formeze, nu au cum sa o o intretina. Indreapta umerii, scoate burta in evidenta, nu-i usor sa faci burta, nu-i usor sa porti o burta. E semn de putere, de coapse de otel ce sint nevoite sa deplaseze o sarcina suplimentara. Zambeste sigur pe tine, calca apasat, imprima burtii o miscare sexy asa cum unele femei au invatat sa paseasca in asa fel incat sa-si puna fundul in valoare.
3. Ai curul mare si turtit dar ai vrea sa-l ai mic si rotund? Ca la asta crezi tu ca se uita femeile? Gresesti. La asta se uita femeile superficiale, care apreciaza aparentele si nu sint interesate de chestiunile profunde. Un cur mare si turtit inseamna munca de birou. De intelectual. Munca de creatie. Un om care are un job de creatie esti creativ pe toate planurile. M-ati auzit, doamnelor, pe TOATE planurile. Un cur turtit inseamna munca de raspundere, de coordonare, inseamna idei, decizie, putere. Cur mic si tare, piept bombat plasat deasupra unui abdomen bine proportionat au intretinutii, filfizonii ce merg la sali ca sa-si poata purta mai apoi tricourile mulate si blugii jerpeliti. Ei nu au altceva in cap decat gantere, ochelari de soare si ritmuri tz tz tz tz de club. Oameni pe care nu te poti baza.
4. Ai bratele subtiri ca trestia si o paloare bolnavicioasa in obraji? Normal. Nu dai la ciocane in gerul iernii. Nu tai coapci in padure. Nu toni betoane in santiere. Paloare-ti marmoreana ti-e data de orele lugi petrecute in culisele puterii, acolo unde se face si se desface lumea. Omule, arata-i femeii buricele degetelor tale, las-o sa vada izvorul creatiei, las-o sa-to vada pielea usor patinata de numaratul banilor, de scrisul cecurilor. Sau de ce nu, al poeziilor. Cati crezi tu ca mai sint ca tine, mult?! Nu, nu mai sint.
Si, vorba aia, barbatul tre sa fie un pic mai frumos decat dracu’. In rest totul tine de atitudine!
The awful truth about one's self..mine in this case:
| Personality Disorder Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
unde..
| Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal |
Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.
Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.
Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.
| Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic |
Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.
Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.
Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.
| Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive |
Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.
Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism
Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.
curious about the world
 clipped from www.dailymail.co.uk
Alcohol Consumption (2001) HIV Prevalence House Prices Military Spending War and death Toy Imports Toy Exports Wealth of Nations (1500) Wealth of Nations (2002) |
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